At some point in your life you will be faced with a really BIG DEAL.
It doesn’t really matter what that deal is, some people struggle with their health, financial hardship, death or loss, others have invisible issues like depression or anxiety. Whatever the issue is, there will be a moment in your life where it will dramatically change forever.
Just remember this, the issue is never the issue. The issue is how you handle the issue.
When you where a kid, you where probably taught how to do math, read and write, but I doubt your where ever taught how to work through BIG deals in your life that take you to your knees.
There aren’t many classes in school that teach how to grow from your life altering circumstance and unfortunately, vulnerability in social situations isn’t something that is encouraged either. When someone says, “How are you?” the standard answer, no matter how bad you feel is, “Fine”.
It’s kind of like when you have a baby. At some point very soon after the birth, they wrap that little bundle up and hand them over to you in the hospital. Before the ink is wet from the baby footprint, you’re home with no parent manual or clue as what to do to keep this eight pound helpless thing alive (insert flashback of unbelievable panic here).
Fortunately, there is a plan – it typically isn’t clear until you find yourself desperately searching for it though.
Let me explain. A dear friend in my support group is in crisis right now with her health. She is having to make some dramatic shifts in her life without her consent, and doesn’t know what to make of her ‘new normal’ or how to adapt. A few months ago when she was planning her wedding and working full-time, she probably wasn’t thinking much about the formula for success in a traumatic situation. Now that she is looking at leaving her job and going on disability, a plan of action is welcomed with open arms.
Have you been there before? Maybe not with your health but with something else?
I know I have – more times than I can count.
After years of trial and error and a mountain of therapy, I think I’ve finally found the secret sauce to turn your tragedy into a superpower.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Life’s not always easy, but it is pretty simple- and when things get complicated, simple is good.” quote=”It’s not always easy, but it is pretty simple- and when things get complicated, simple is a welcome entity.”]
5 Simple Ways (in order) That Will Turn Your Tragedy Into A Superpower:
- Grieve – WARNING: Don’t skip this step! If you’ve just been faced with a life altering incident and your friend tells you your situation isn’t as bad as others or that you ‘shouldn’t’ be upset or that you ‘shouldn’t’ be sad, politely thank them very much and move on canceling that idea in your mind. There is plenty of time for finding the gifts in every experience but when the trauma is fresh, you have to grieve the loss of a life that once was – especially if you really liked that life. Don’t worry, as long as you follow the rest of the steps, you won’t get stuck here – you just need to take a WTF moment.
- Research – Become an expert in your issue – then let it go. What that means is go deep into understanding what is happening in your life but don’t necessarily identify with it. When I was first diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis I couldn’t even pronounce it. I spent hours finding out as much as I could about my disease and how to treat it. I also gathered the best team I could find that specialized in my issue. Even if your issues are not health related, investigate whatever they are just as thoroughly. Find out how others responded and got to the other side. Once you have a full body of knowledge, tuck it away. I wanted to be identified as a great mother, or healer, never the cancer or autoimmune girl. How do you want to be identified?
- Process – When you are faced with a situation that seems unimaginable to handle, it probably means that you don’t have the skill set to figure it out – and why should you, you’ve never been in this situation before. That’s when it’s really important to find someone, an organization or reading material that can help you develop those tools. Chances are very high that you aren’t the first one to deal with your situation. That means that you don’t have to recreate the wheel. Learning a skill set from others that helps to enrich your life will never make you look weak – It makes you a Rock Star.
- Find your people – Friends and family are very well meaning, but it is hard to relate to something that you have never experienced. That’s where support groups with people that can relate are key. Just make sure they are actually supportive as well as informative, and uplifting. Not all groups are created equal.
- Share – The best way to keep your gifts is to give them all away. Once you have a little distance from your original incident, take someone else under your wing and gently guide them through through their own process. Nothing is more healing than giving back. We are built to be in community with each other by sharing our triumphs as well as our struggles. Sharing your story and how your created your different, yet still vibrant life will not only help someone else have superpowers too, it will help you see how far you’ve come.
If you know someone who could these steps, please share this post. And if you are looking for a some support with your own health issues from some loving, safe folks, join my Free FaceBook support group the Wellness Warrior Tribe.
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This is an excellent article. I found Lisa’s support group page when I first got Myasthenia Gravis, and it has helped my more than I can say.
I am almost through reading her book, and it has been so helpful and inspirational.
I would hate to think how hard this diagnosis would have been without the help I have received, because it is pretty darn hard even with it!