In Mind

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#1 position in bed for 2015

Do you know what the most popular position is?

After taking a very unscientific poll, the results are in. 

The most favored position in bed is the one closest to the electrical outlet so you can plug in your smartphone.

But is this the smartest thing for your relationship (with a real person)?

If you are more interested in checking on client emails or social media than checking out your significant other, you may want to rethink your life.  That phone will be hard to spoon when you are all alone in bed.

But wait, it gets worse.

In a recent poll of over 2,000 people between the ages of 18 and 34, one in five admitted to using or checking their phone DURING sex.

Another survey showed 76% of all couples polled said they don’t talk to their partner in bed because they are too busy surfing the net.

We have become so obsessed with having a virtual presence that we forget there is someone right next to us in the real world. This is causing a disconnection that can wreak havoc on the rest of our relationships outside of the bedroom as well.

Why are we doing this to ourselves and to the people we love? Here’s the scary truth.

When we are online, our brains release a chemical called Dopamine, a joy inducing neurotransmitter which registers all pleasures in the same way, whether they originate from taking drugs like cocaine, a sexual encounter, or a ping from a new text. Loosely translated, whether we are mainlining URLs or heroine, the results are the same.  We become addicted to the Dopamine released in our brain and become junkies to our laptop.

Don’t think so?  Take this short quiz and see if you are becoming technology addicted and leaving your bed a barren wasteland:

  1. Are you constantly looking at your phone to see if anyone has called or texted? 
  2. Do you keep your phone on or by you at all times? 
  3. Do you wake up at night and check your phone? 
  4. Do you keep it by the bed and is it the first thing you reach for instead of the warm body lying next to you?
  5. Are you looking at your phone in the middle of conversations with real people?

Getting hooked is easier than you think. Our brains are designed to adapt to the environment, it’s called neuroplasticity. It will get better at anything we do repeatedly. So if we’re on the Internet perpetually, our brains start to crave that kind of stimulation all the time. This behavior is actually changing the way we think and making it harder for us to pay attention, to follow through on long-term projects, and to think clearly.

But here’s the good news,we can also train our brains to reconnect. To be present with ourselves and with others, to think more deeply, to be self-reflective, to live in the moment.

All we have to do is create mindful boundaries with our little internet buddies. 

Here are a few suggestions to bring us back to reality:

  1. Keep electrical devices out of the bedroom and off the dinner table. 
  2. Have a day you don’t look at social media at all (Facebook Free Fridays is actually a thing these days).
  3. Don’t take your phone on vacation with you, bring a book instead.
  4. Turn you phone off when spending time with your kids.

Trying these ideas may be a little harder than you think at first.  But when we reconnect, we can actually reverse our negative brain activity caused by over stressing computer activity and become more centered and mindful in the process.

And deepen our relationships with loved ones we can actually grow old with.

About the Author

Lisa Douthit is the author of Amazon’s #1 bestselling book, Wellness Warrior – Fighting for Life in Fabulous Shoes and an Integrative Health Consultant who is passionate about healing from all perspectives.  After struggling with multiple bouts of cancer and autoimmune disease, no one understands the physical, spiritual, and emotional rollercoaster better than she does. As one of the 40 million American women currently suffering with an autoimmune disease, she made it her mission to have a voice for all those with an invisible illness, and prove you can be well without perfect health. She has a private Facebook Group called Wellness Warrior Tribe for all those with chronic illness looking for support and encouragement.  For more out of the box thinking that is guaranteed to bring you joy, Like her FaceBook Page Here or join the tribe Here.

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  • Paula G

    I preach disconnecting all the time. And when I catch myself breaking my own rules, I readjust. I want to live the life in front of me, not some nonexistent life on a screen….

    As I always say – I know where the OFF buttons are and I use them! Daily!

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