There is a time in every mother’s life when they wake up and realize that their child raising years are over. I’m not going to lie, it’s a little devastating. I have devoted the last 20 years to raising my family, with a side of working as an Integrative Health Coach. Not that my practice is small, it just was never my highest priority. My main focus had always been raising my three children and keeping my husband sane in the process.
But now that I’ve giving the best years of my life to my babies, two of the little shits have decided to grow up and go off to college and I only have one more year until my little one is gone too.
So here’s my question: Now What??
How does one reinvent their life once all the juice is sucked out of them? Where do we turn to re-educate ourselves on what’s relevant these days? How do we tap into that internal, spiritual voice of knowledge that steers us towards our future self? Am I overthinking again? I’m really good at overthinking.
One of the best parts of being a little older is that you start to lose the care. By that I mean what others think of us isn’t as important as it was back in the day. This gives us a little more freedom to explore one of my favorite questions:
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
Would you get big and bold by following unrealized dreams, or would you make small changes? Would you change the trajectory of your life or stay on course, making it a bigger version of what you already have? Or would you be afraid to make a move and keep life at a status quo level?
Some say that we are not afraid to fail. Instead, we are afraid of what would happen if we were to succeed. Either way, the main emotion that could be holding us back from the next chapter or our potentially big, beautiful life is fear.
Now, I’m not here to say you need to be fearless, frankly, I’m afraid all the time at some of the things I’ve been doing lately, but that never stops me from doing them anyway. Fear isn’t a bad thing, it is an ancient and powerful emotion that has allowed the human race to survive.
But while we’ve evolved, this raw protective instinct of fight or flight did not. Like when we know we need to face your to quiet house and grieve the loss of life as we knew it, but we instead bury ourselves in any other distracting activity to avoid the sadness. Unfortunately, this also blocks us from the ability to take our next steps.
Instead of fearing those feelings of being devastatingly sad because our kids have left and running from those emotions, wouldn’t it be better to take a moment to embrace and release those feelings so we can begin creating the next phase of our life?
My guess (and hope) is that if we were to grieve, and get all those emotions out, we would be clearer in our focus as to what part two of our life will look like. It also would bring closure to an era that no longer exist and make us available to embrace the future because we have let go of the past.
[clickToTweet tweet=”When it’s time to move on it’s important to not run from our feelings so we can move on with life.” quote=”Moving on can suck. It can also be amazing. The important thing is to get out of your own way and be brave enough to process your situation and what you want to do with the rest of our life.”]
So I’ll ask again. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Because at this point in our lives, we’ve already succeeded in the most important part and the rest is just icing on the cake.
Be bold and brave. You have already done an amazing job in life. You have the talent and desire, now all that is left is to pick your path and follow it with the same passion you raised your family with. The only way you can fail is if you never try.