In Soul

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What to do when you've got nothin left

There comes a point in all of our lives when you look around and say, “What the hell is happening here?”  It feels like you’ve completely lost control in some or all capacity with no idea what to do or where to turn.

Am I right?

If you have a physical or mental illness, this can happen at any point in the day, every day, for the rest of your life.  This also happens to perfectly healthy folks. We all hit walls in life.  If you haven’t yet, you will at some point or you have already and just don’t know it (surprise!).  The question is, what do we do when we’re splatted all over the place? 

Here is the simple answer.  Surrender.

Surrendering doesn’t mean you give up nor does it mean you’ve lost the battle.  When we surrender, we give our situation over to a higher power.  This releases us from the outcome and the fight which, clearly, isn’t working anyway. 

By surrendering, you are saying to God, “Good luck Pal, cause I’m done here with this issue.  I gave it the old college try but it’s not working for me.  Maybe you can make something out of it.” 

OK, you may not talk to God quite like that so feel free to reword.  The point is to surrender whatever it is you are struggling with. When we do, we leave the space needed for Him to create something out of nothing.

Unfortunately, this space of surrender can be pretty uncomfortable.  It’s the awkward pause where nothing seems to be happening.  This moment can be easily be filled with all sorts of negative self talk or non-productive actions, but the best thing to do is STOP MOVING.  Stop your brain, your body, your mouth.  Take a beat and enjoy the quiet space that is now available to you.

It’s not as easy as it sounds but totally doable.  You just have to know how to you handle the motionless days and not lose your mind.

I checked in with a few of my friends that constantly walk the thin line of, “Life is beautiful” and “Get me a gun so I can shoot myself”, and asked them how they handle moments where surrendering was the only option. 

Here are their top ten recommendations to keep you going when you are stopped (and to keep your spirits high when you are low):

  1. Prayer and meditation –  Our inner life has a chance to grow when we are still.  Going in is a great way of finding your inner strength and redirect your path
  2. Journal – Keep a gratitude journal to remember all the blessings you have around you
  3. Spend time with a pet- An animals’ unconditional love reminds us that we are lovable no matter how bad we feel. 
  4. Give back- Get out of your head by finding a way to give to someone else.  Leave encouraging comments in a group, make something for someone, become a prayer warrior.  When I was sick in bed we fostered kittens for the SPCA.  Nothing puts you in a better mood then kittens. 
  5. Listen to music – Comfort music that brings back good memories can transport us to another, better time in minutes.
  6. Get support- Find an online support group that knows what you are going through or ask for help from friends 
  7. Change it up-  Scenery changes can make a huge impact.  If your housebound, go to a different room.  If not, get outside or go for a drive.  Different view, different perspective.
  8. Organize something- Cleaning out your junk will help you get the fresh start you’re looking for
  9. Get lost bing watching Netflix-  This one is for those sick in bed that are waiting to feel better.

    Most Importantly, 10-know that tomorrow is a new day and this is only temporary. There is something better is right around the corner.

About the Author

Lisa DouthitLisa Douthit is the author of Amazon’s #1 bestselling book, Wellness Warrior – Fighting for Life in Fabulous Shoes and an Integrative Health Consultant who is passionate about healing from all perspectives.  After struggling with multiple bouts of cancer and autoimmune disease, no one understands the physical, spiritual, and emotional rollercoaster better than she does. As one of the 40 million American women currently suffering with an autoimmune disease, she made it her mission to have a voice for all those with an invisible illness, and prove you can be well without perfect health. She has a private Facebook Group called Wellness Warrior Tribe for all those with chronic illness looking for support and encouragement.  For more out of the box thinking that is guaranteed to bring you joy, Like her FaceBook Page Here or join the tribe Here.

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  • beth schulman mcgonagle

    Hi Lisa,
    I’m a fellow Booktrope Gravity Author and I really enjoyed your piece. I just wrote a blog on my site and quoted you- come check it out at
    Thanks for the inspiration.

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