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finding your way during a transition

I recently went for a long walk to figure out why I felt so…nothing.

Nothing was the only word I could think of using to describe how I felt about my life.

But why did I feel so flat? Things were going great. My son is having the time of his life doing a semester abroad, my daughter just committed to a college she is very excited about, my husband is traveling all the time because his business is booming, our youngest is feeling very free now that she has her drivers’ license, my health is steady, my practice is doing well and I love all my clients…wait. I think I get it now.

I feels like just yesterday when life was simple and I had three smiling faces looking up at me with love in their eyes asking, “What are we going to do today, Mommy?” Life now is more about keeping the Master Calendar up while everyone is running out the door in different directions. The only one that gives me that look of anticipation these days is my dog because she needs to pee.

[clickToTweet tweet=”When change comes, it’s like a cyclone of frantic feelings that seems like it will destroy us.” quote=”We can know that this time of change will come, but when it finally hits, it is a cyclone of frantic feelings that seems like it will destroy us.”] And when our emotional state is a mess it can end up damaging our bodies if we are not careful.

It can be so overwhelming that we just shut down inside (because we can’t handle all that is going on in our brain and heart). This ends up feeling like depression and looking like – Nothing.

Fortunately, the solution is pretty much the same for whatever ails us (with a little tweaking to fit our needs).

Here is what I found that helped me change and find my way to the next phase of life:

Accept the Change

David Foster Wallace once said, “Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.” The best way to make a big change more difficult for yourself is to fight it. Although having a hard time letting go is a natural reaction, living in the past will only cause more pain and prolong the adjustment period. Instead of dwelling on what you’re leaving behind, focus on some positive aspects of the change and how it is going to help in creating a better future. Accepting the reality that your life will no longer be the same isn’t always a bad thing, just a different thing.

Find Time For Reflection

Give yourself some time and space to get away from the expectations, the conversations, the noise, the media, and the pressure. Whether it’s journaling, meditating, taking long walks, or talking with someone you trust, periods of change are when it’s most important to stop and assess how you’re feeling about everything. Shutting down the negative chatter in our brains gives us the opportunity to find the positive aspects of our lives and live more in gratitude for what we still have verses what we have lost. Remember that loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are inside – so that you’ll stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

Take Care of Your Health

When change occurs, stress often comes along for the ride. Stress overload can have a damaging effect on your health and make us feel even worse. Don’t forget to eat healthy meals, get enough sleep and exercise regularly (even if you don’t feel like it), and make a daily effort to keep these habits up. A positive lifestyle can provide the will power and strength you may need to move though this transition and still have energy to enjoy life on the other side of.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Any kind of life transitions can stretch us beyond what we thought were our margins. Take this time to find out what you are capable of, what you like and don’t like, and how to adapt. Take note of how well you adjust outside of your comfort zone and notice of the strength and courage you never thought you had.

Take It One Day At A Time

When you start feeling overwhelmed about all the changes that are taking place, remember to take things one step at a time. Finding your way back to your authentic self is a journey, not a destination. Listen to and trust your inner voice. There really is no right or wrong way of doing things, just your way.

What have you found that works for you?  I would love to hear in the comments section below.  Going through change is never easy.  Doing it together makes all things manageable.


About the Author

managing transitionsLisa Douthit is the author of Amazon’s #1 bestselling book, Wellness Warrior – Fighting for Life in Fabulous Shoes and an Integrative Health Consultant who is passionate about healing from all perspectives.  After struggling with multiple bouts of cancer and autoimmune disease, no one understands the physical, spiritual, and emotional rollercoaster better than she does. As one of the 40 million American women currently suffering with an autoimmune disease, she made it her mission to have a voice for all those with an invisible illness, and prove you can be well without perfect health. She has a private Facebook Group called Wellness Warrior Tribe for all those with chronic illness looking for support and encouragement.  For more out of the box thinking that is guaranteed to bring you joy, Like her FaceBook Page Here or join the tribe Here.

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Showing 6 comments
  • Dani

    This has come at the right time for me. I too feel “nothing” an apathy almost and it is my body and mind’s way of dealing with the stress from illness and daily life. Your advice is great and I will make a pact to follow it! 🙂

  • Monica Bruno

    Hi Lisa, I’m not there yet, but I know it’s coming. Time just passes by too fast. You’ve given great advice about accepting, taking care of yourself and getting out of your comfort zone. My motto for the last nine years has been to take one day at a time!

    • Lisa Douthit

      One day at a time is a great motto Monica! Before you know it days turn into years. Kiss everyone in your life and be grateful for the laundry. It’s gone before you know it

  • Yadah

    I loved this and am pinning it. Thanks for such an honest and beautiful post.

    • Lisa Douthit

      Thanks, Punkin!

  • Matthew Williams

    I’ve been there to and this is great advice. I’m really trying to let go of past hurts where I’ve felt let down by people I loved, learning to accept and move on can be a challenge. Blogging has really helped me. Here’s a piece on getting through depression that I hope you might like:

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